January 19, 2011

whooty woot woot


Yuki, a phallophobic asian girl from the webcomic, Menage a 3.
I was minding my own business one night, when an IM window pops up.
tianabalister2157: Is he out there?  
Wow, who's this? Normally I'd have closed that window and brush it off like it never happened, but I was bored and I was feeling particularly chatty that night.Little did I know how interesting things would go from there...
tianabalister2157: (ding) 
tianabalister2157: Is he out there?
ericthespaceoutjunkie: if by he yer referring to me, im here. who are you?
tianabalister2157: Hello there.. My name is Mrs Whooty.. Got ur ID through Messenger Directory :)
ericthespaceoutjunkie: what's that?
tianabalister2157: I love chatting with new people.. Would you like to chat today? Where are you from?
ericthespaceoutjunkie: im from the philippines.
ericthespaceoutjunkie: are you someone i know?
ericthespaceoutjunkie: is this a prank?
tianabalister2157: Can i ask you a quest?
ericthespaceoutjunkie: a quest?
ericthespaceoutjunkie: what quest?
ericthespaceoutjunkie: this is weird.
tianabalister2157: Do you like big booty girls with big tits? lol seriously cuz thats what i am/have..Is that too much for you to handle?
ericthespaceoutjunkie: haha! im gay.
tianabalister2157: Do you know what a whooty is? Would you like to see me i'll show you my Whooty....
ericthespaceoutjunkie: this is sumthin i dont get everyday. haha. what a laugh you gave me.
ericthespaceoutjunkie: no no thanks...
ericthespaceoutjunkie: whootys scare me.
ericthespaceoutjunkie: :)
tianabalister2157: lol Whooty is a White Girl with a BOOTY!  i wanna show u mine...
ericthespaceoutjunkie: no id much prefer you show it to someone else.
ericthespaceoutjunkie: i suck dick.
tianabalister2157: ok let me set up my camera for you honey..
ericthespaceoutjunkie: hahahaha! *okay getting scared now*
tianabalister2157: um goto http://www.smallu.net/a56x and we can go 1 on 1 chat. Just click Accept Invite on the left!
ericthespaceoutjunkie: great. a talking computer virus.
tianabalister2157: Don't worry baby its free to join this site all you have to do is register
At that point I was really freaked, but in about less than five seconds I managed to: close yahoo messenger, open a new browser, type in the words www.dudetubeonline.com, hit enter, and calmed myself down with pure adulterous manflesh. I'm gay, and yes, I really am scared of whooties -or any kind of female booty, for that matter. I think my ym's infected. That or somebody signed me up for that... that... atrocity. Whoever did it, I really hope he burns in hell for doing so. I'm reminded of how my straight friends would often ask me, how can I be so adamant with my preference when I haven't really actually tasted (ugh. wrong word. I shiver in disgust.) the alternative.

It's simple. Vaginas scare me.
To me, a woman's groin, with all its labial folds, 
is gross, filthy, repulsive and sickening.

Much like how Yuki, a character in the webcomic, Menage a 3, has phallophobia --an anxiety disorder precipitated by the fear of penises, or simply put, the fear of erect penises. Yuki sleeps with girls and her dad, a hentai author, draws tentacle doujinshi for a living. Each time Yuki  sees a man's privates, she goes all wacko and screams "TENTACLES!", as if she actually sees phallic tentacles and ends up either tearing out the thing, if it's on paper, or kicking the guy in the groin, if it's actual.
(refer to these links: one, two, three, four, five)

Now my crazy's not THAT bad. If I could think of something to match Yuki's phallophobic manifestations, that would be dentata, vagina dentata. Google it. (God! The fangs! That stuff's the stuff of nightmares!)

A genuine factor would be me having three charming, lovely little sisters, mostly teenage ones, and seeing them in almost every state of undress will never,  in any way possible, arouse me. Again, I shiver in disgust.

To this I say pass on the pussy,
I'd rather have me a fresh serving of  
smooth boyhole manmeat love! ;-)

...

10 whispers:

{ bern } at: January 19, 2011 at 11:47 PM said...

the stuff gay nightmares are made of. like a little electronic baby doll nestled in a sunflower. or simply lizards for me. they freak me out. they cause bad dreams for a fortnight.

i'm laughing out loud in the middle of glorietta as i type this. XD

-B.

{ ericthespaceoutjunkie } at: January 20, 2011 at 12:11 AM said...

Bern | i don't really get what your dream's made up of B. an electronic doll? sunflower lizards? i'm trying to analyze it but i can't think of anything relevant. i must suck as a psychiatrist. lol.

{ Eternal Wanderer... } at: January 20, 2011 at 2:57 AM said...

masarap ang pekpek.

...

*giggles*

{ gillboard } at: January 20, 2011 at 7:00 AM said...

i get those messages alot. i just ignore and ban those people.

anyway, no comment on girls' vajayjays.

i only know of vagina dentata from the movie teeth. that film sucked. :P

{ VICTOR } at: January 20, 2011 at 7:34 AM said...

Wag magsalita ng tapos. ;)

{ Guyrony } at: January 20, 2011 at 8:46 AM said...

(Gasps in horror of the word vagina)

{ ericthespaceoutjunkie } at: January 20, 2011 at 2:37 PM said...

Eternal Wanderer | sarap na sarap ka naman.

gillboard | my nightmare's a bit more graphic. think big, floating, man-eating, fanged vaginas. that's a scare.

VICTOR | TAPOS! TAPOS! TAPOS TAPOS TAPOS TAPOS! ...TAPOS!! :P

Guyrony | vagina. haha. oonga ang panget pakinggan nung word.. vadjaynaaaah.. HAHAHAHAHA!

{ ıǝɹɯɐı } at: January 25, 2011 at 6:56 PM said...

hahahah. i hate vaginas too. they look mean. really really mean.

{ ericthespaceoutjunkie } at: January 27, 2011 at 9:16 PM said...

iamrei | yes they are. like this mean -> http://bit.ly/bqorsC

{ The Mikologist } at: April 17, 2011 at 6:43 AM said...

wwaahahaha,

i remember last year,
i went to this bar in Southampton,
and there's this girl who keeps on trying to catch my attention (yabang)
when i smiled at her:

girl: hi! what's your name?
miko: i'm miko, what's yours?
girl: i'm Phil.
miko: huh (worried).
girl: Phil Mycock
miko: wwhhaaatt!! (scared)
girl: i know its not obvious, but i'm a man before.
miko: OMG! you're shitting me! (terrified)
girl: hahaha, of course, that's a joke. n_n
miko: that's not a good joke. hahaha. i'm still having goosebumps. hahaha.

brit girls have a scary shameless sense of humour. hahaha.

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